Final Fantasy IV DS

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I haven't done a video game review in quite some time. Or at least what feels like quite some time; God of War: Chains of Olympus certainly seems ages ago. Regardless, here's my review of a fairly new game, and one for the DS rather than the PSP: Final Fantasy IV.

As my reader(s) who know the history of the Final Fantasy franchise at all will be aware of, this is actually, unless I'm mistaken, the fourth version of Final Fantasy IV to be released Stateside. Originally billed as Final Fantasy II due to Square-Enix's decision not to release the actual Final Fantasy II or III outside of Japan, IV also saw Playstation and Game Boy Advance releases, with the GBA version adding extra features.

FFIVDS, on the other hand, is a fully-fledged, from-the-ground-up remake of the classic game, and is, in my opinion, easily the best version released so far, and while it might not be the best game that has been released on the DS, it's still probably the best RPG, a solid game with enough content and replay value to keep you busy for, well, probably more hours than you should be investing in a video game. (Then again, I've no room to talk-- my Monster Hunter Freedom 2 save file is approaching 200 hours. I am simultaneously proud and ashamed of this.)

Plotwise, the game is fairly similar to its previous itenerations. You take on the role of the dark knight Cecil, disgraced captain of the Red Wings, the airship fleet of the kingdom of Baron. The king, whose usual, peaceful ambitions have suddenly become greedy and heartless, has been sending Cecil out to bomb the world's other kingdoms and steal their elemental crystals. When Cecil finally confronts the king, he's demoted and sent out of Baron to deliver a package to a nearby town with his friend and companion, the dragoon Kain. What follows is an epic quest spanning multiple continents, which follows Cecil and his companions as they attempt to save their world from an increasingly-growing threat.

It's stated on Wikipedia that over 75% of the game's original script was left out of the SNES outing, and much of the script, including several new scenes, has been added in for the DS version. While the new bits of plot will certainly have series fans drooling, I daresay most will find that the game's story hasn't aged well. While I certainly didn't have trouble following the game's plot, I've always thought of FFIV as being one of the less exciting games in terms of what actually happens during the story, especially when compared with many of the Playstation Final Fantasy titles.

Fortunately, however, the development team has added plenty of things to keep the player motivated. My personal favorite, in terms of new additions, is the dungeon map system. Essentially, the bottom screen is used to display a map of wherever you are, and in the case of dungeons and caves, the map starts off blank. As you travel through it, it fills itself in, and once you've filled it in completely, you get a reward-- usually five of a recovery item, like potions or phoenix downs, though occasionally weapons or armor are also handed out. In previous versions of Final Fantasy IV, dungeon crawling was always a morale-draining, unmotivating experience, but the map system really helps me in that regard; not only do I now have a goal in each room, but I also know where the heck I'm going.

Another new feature is the augment system. Augments are essentially abilities that can be taught to the party member of your choice (think TMs and HMs from the Pokemon series). If one of your companions leaves your party, you're given a varying number of their augments, depending on how many you gave them, up to three. While I like the new system because I feel that it adds strategy and depth to a combat system that otherwise isn't as sophisticated as many of the systems featured in the game's sequels, I find that I'm often unwilling to teach certain abilities to certain characters for two reasons: if it's an ability I really like, I don't want to lose it; and I generally have no idea what abilities I'm going to get in return for teaching one of my departing party members a new ability.

A nice, aesthetic touch are the new, voice-acted cutscenes. The voice actors are actually pretty okay; they're not exactly incredible but they're certainly better than plenty of other RPG casts, and the cutscenes themselves definitely make the plot more interesting. Speaking also in terms of sound, the sound effects and music are both quite good; the effects are reminiscent of the SNES version but still updated in their own right, and the music, composed by series regular Nobuo Uematsu, is a showcase of some of his most memorable work.

Graphically, the game is very similar to the DS remake of Final Fantasy III, which makes sense because it's been done by the same development team using (I believe) the same engine. This is both a good and bad thing: while the graphics are well-done, they're also quite simple, and might be a turn-off to someone expecting, say, the incredible attention to detail of a Castlevania title, or the raw graphical prowess of a PSP game.

While I'm conflicted about some of the new things about IV DS, they did build the game on a solid, well-crafted skeleton. FFIV is a beloved title in the Final Fantasy series for a reason, and the game will certainly be enjoyed by old hats and newcomers alike.

The Rundown
Plot: 6/10. The new cutscenes and voice acting really help breathe life into the otherwise-dry story.
Gameplay: 9/10. The simple battle system is helped along with some new features and a few changes.
Graphics: 8/10. Simplistic, but well-done. I like the new character designs.
Sound: 10/10. Sound effects are updated but still pleasingly retro, and Uematsu's score is as good now as it's ever been.
Overall: 8.25/10. A solid, entertaining DS outing that will appeal to both casual and hardcore gamers, FFIVDS shouldn't be missed.

Mamma Mia!

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Until just a few hours ago, I'd had a very good day. They do these cool boat tours up in Sarasota (I say 'up' because I'm in Venice, south of Tampa, for the summer, rather than in college) where you get to see all kinds of bay area animals; dolphins, birds, fish and the like. It really made me appreciate Florida, since I often take living here for granted. It can be a fun state sometimes.

After that, I went to my aunt's condo and had pizza; Dominoes is hardly Claudio's or Ray's, but they're probably the best national pizza franchise at the very least. So that was good too.

Then, I saw Mamma Mia! (the movie) and my good day was ruined.

I'm not actually sure why I went to see it. I saw the touring production a few years ago and it was horrible. Maybe I was expecting this to be better? Maybe I just like seeing movies, and figured it couldn't be so bad that I wouldn't have a good time? Maybe I just missed Pierce Brosnan, since he isn't James Bond anymore?

In the end, who knows. The only thing I know for certain is that this is one of the worst pieces of trash to grace the silver screen in a very, very long time, and might be one of the worst movies in the history of cinema. (Think of it this way: I haven't reviewed something in how long? Months? This movie was so bad that I want to rip it to shreds more than I want to talk about the joys of New York City.)

I can't really pin the failure on any one thing because there was something wrong with everything. The casting, for instance was very strange. Meryl Streep, as my mother pointed out after the movie was over, is about twenty years too old for the part she played. Pierce Brosnan is a cool guy and a great actor, but he can't really sing, and it was painful to watch him try. I didn't care about Amanda Seyfried's Sophie (of course the part is quite shallow to begin with, so that's not entirely her fault). Everyone else was either just having fun or collecting a paycheck, but in the end, no one was truly emotionally invested in the film. Then again, the script is so terrible that I doubt anyone could be.

Ah, yes, the script. Of all the possible stories to weave around ABBA's numerous songs, why this one? The entirely depthless, Cinderella plot details valley girl wanna-be Sophie's quest to find out who her father is before her wedding to cliche'd dream-guy Sky (Dominic Cooper); her choices include Sam (Brosnan) and his comic-foil sidekicks Harry (Colin Firth) and Bill (Stellan Skarsgård). The incredibly predictable plot surpasses the so-bad-it's-good mark and just becomes bad all over again, which wouldn't be such a terrible thing if the cast (see above) had been, um, good.

The failings of this film, however, go far beyond the actors and the writing. Actually, my biggest issue was with Haris Zambarloukos' cinematography. I got more seasick watching Mamma Mia! than I did on the aforementioned boat tour. It seemed that every shot involved the camera spinning around, panning over, or doing some other incredibly distracting thing. Don't get me wrong-- Greece is a very beautiful place, but seeing it through Zambarloukos' vision was like watching it through the eyes of a stumbling drunkard.

Speaking of being drunk, the editors were on something when they were putting the movie together. The sloppy editing was a constant distraction, as if the camerwork and bad casting weren't distracting enough.

All right. Y'know what? I'm done with this. I don't have any more time to waste on this film. I'm gonna go do something more fun than think back on Mamma Mia!, like read the dictionary or paint my room with a toothbrush or something.

The Rundown
Cast: 1/10. There was one member of the ensemble who I thought was really funny. That was it.
Script: 0/10. It might've been of acceptable quality for, say, a Barbie direct-to-DVD film, but I can't imagine any other situation where that script would be considered good.
Cinematography: 0/10. Please, stop moving the camera! Just stop it!
Editing: 0/10. These guys didn't even care. Why should I?
Overall: .25/10. You probably won't even like it if you're an ABBA fan.