Generally, I'm not a fan of modern beat-em-ups; I liked the Streets of Rage series for the Sega Genesis but that's about where my fascination with fighting hordes of the same bad guys ended. That said, I've always been a fan of the God of War games because I feel that the break the cycle and introduce new elements to make their games interesting. While Chains of Olympus is nowhere near as ground-breaking as its predecessors, it does what it does really well, and looks graphically incredible while doing so, truly pushing the PSP to its limits.
As I just said, this game is fiiiiine-looking. I've always known that the PSP is capable of some pretty incredible stuff (for a handheld), but I never could've imagined a PSP game with this much attention to detail, textures and animations this smooth, and character-models this... un-polygonal, I suppose? CG cutscenes are done with an interestng-but-effective combination of 3D models (usually just Kratos and whoever he's talking to) and 2D "cardboard cutouts", as it were, of such things as soldiers and townspeople. There's blood aplenty, and it often suprises me how steady the framerate stays despite the constant flow of the stuff along with the red aftertrails of Kratos' signature weapons, the Blades of Chaos.
Speaking of weapons, you'll find plenty of additions to your already-formidable movelist to keep gameplay fresh. Aside from simply finding new weapons and magic spells (Efreet is my favorite spell; you'll see why if you buy the game), you can also upgrade your existing weapons and abilities with Red Orbs which are dropped by defeated enemies and found in treasure chests. Even weapons and abilities that initially seem useless can become quite deadly once you've got several new moves to try out on the next unfortunate Persian soldier that gets in your way.
Sound quality is wonderful. Everything, from massive explosions to the brutal sounds of swords piercing armor and flesh, is spot on. What's more, the voice acting is quite good-- Linda Hunt as the narrator, in particular, really helps draw the player into the game, and T. C. Carson is effectively moody and vengeful as Kratos.
Unfortunately, this awesome-sounding package does come with a few hitches. Rather than attempting to cut off pathways with in-game obstacles, the developers instead chose to use invisible walls ad-nauseum. What's more, the in-game obstacles that are used seem rather cheap; a satyr bombarding me with what are effectively Molotov cocktails every time I try to open a door is more annoying than it is effective.
Despite its flaws, God of War: Chains of Olympus is still a wonderful gem of a game, and a must-have if you're looking to bolster your PSP library.
The Rundown
Graphics: 10/10. There hasn't been a game that looks this good on any handheld system to date.
Audio: 10/10. Realistic sounds, accompanied by good voice-acting? Doesn't get much better.
Controls: 10/10. You'll be destroying entire armies with relative ease before you know it.
Gameplay: 8.0/10. Overuse of invisible walls and annoying obstacles got on my nerves.
Overall: 9/10. Buy it. Seriously. You will not regret it.
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Oxygen
Another review request. Thanks to gameandwatch9!
Before I start this review, let me get a few administrative things out of the way:
This is actually one of the harder reviews I've done so far. You see, even though I've been breathing in oxygen my whole life (and hopefully, so have you), it's not really something I actively think about. In fact, it happens pretty much automatically; I can stop breathing if I want to (though I wouldn't really recommend doing that), but if I'm not actively trying to stop myself, my lungs basically do their own thing. All the better for me, I suppose; the less work I have to do on top of college, the better.
Now that I do think about oxygen, however, it seems to me that our dependence on it is quite annoying. Think about all the things we can't do without assistance because we're so oxygen-dependant: scuba-diving, snorkeling, spelunking, and space exploration all require some form of oxygen tank or method of obtaining oxygen. Wouldn't all those things be so much more fun if we didn't have unwieldy stuff strapped to ourselves the entire time?
What's more, we are constantly threatened by dangers such as carbon-monoxide poisoning and lung damage because we breathe in order to absorb oxygen. How many movies have you seen where some sort of deadly gas is being released into a room or a car or something, and the protagonist is racing against time to thwart the villain because he'll eventually have to breathe in? Our potential vulnerability due to this weakness has even caused certain security companies to create carbon-monoxide monitors, which we then have to buy in order to be safe, wasting precious money that could be used on a myriad other things if we didn't need oxygen so badly.
That said, there are benefits to oxygen, and the benefits far outweigh any minor inconveniences. The thing that immediately comes to mind for me is fire, or, more specifically, burning things. Think back, for a moment, to science class: I assume that at some point your teacher did the experiment where you use a vacuum pump to suck the oxygen out of a glass jar with a candle inside? The candle goes out because there's no oxygen in the jar; in a sense, fire is as dependant on oxygen as we are.
When you think about it, a lot of what we do involves using fire to heat or burn things at some point or another. When I cook, for instance, I must light a fire. What would happen to the culinary industry if oxygen wasn't there to help start the fire? (Actually, I'd probably be eating a lot more sushi, which would be awesome and a good deal healthier than my current diet, but that's neither here nor there.) Another example is power. My laptop is currently connected by a power cord to a surge protector, which is connected to the wall, and, eventually, links up with whatever power plant supplies energy to my college's residence halls. I'm fairly certain that said power plant generates electricity by burning something, though I'm not sure specifically what.
In retrospect, I suppose oxygen is something like a double-edged sword. While our need for it can often be frustrating, it makes life a little more livable at the same time.
The Rundown
Convenience: 6/10. We can find oxygen in most places we need to go, but for extra exploration, special gear is needed. Also, oxygen makes things rust, which isn't convenient at all.
Necessity: 10/10. We need it to live. Can't get by without it.
Helpfulness: 10/10. Cooking food, combustion engines, and certain kinds of power plants wouldn't be possible without fire, which, in turn, wouldn't be possible without oxygen.
Ease of Absorption: 10/10. Like I said, it pretty much just happens.
Overall: 9/10. Yep. Oxygen's pretty sweet.
Before I start this review, let me get a few administrative things out of the way:
- I now post a new review once a week, generally every Friday, so now you'll know when to check this site. (I might do some reviews in between, though, so don't forget to check the archives.)
- My inbox is awfully empty. Keep sending in those review requests! The e-mail address you should send them to is on the right-hand side of the blog, under "About Me", I think.
- Edit: Anonymous users can now post comments! Post away!
This is actually one of the harder reviews I've done so far. You see, even though I've been breathing in oxygen my whole life (and hopefully, so have you), it's not really something I actively think about. In fact, it happens pretty much automatically; I can stop breathing if I want to (though I wouldn't really recommend doing that), but if I'm not actively trying to stop myself, my lungs basically do their own thing. All the better for me, I suppose; the less work I have to do on top of college, the better.
Now that I do think about oxygen, however, it seems to me that our dependence on it is quite annoying. Think about all the things we can't do without assistance because we're so oxygen-dependant: scuba-diving, snorkeling, spelunking, and space exploration all require some form of oxygen tank or method of obtaining oxygen. Wouldn't all those things be so much more fun if we didn't have unwieldy stuff strapped to ourselves the entire time?
What's more, we are constantly threatened by dangers such as carbon-monoxide poisoning and lung damage because we breathe in order to absorb oxygen. How many movies have you seen where some sort of deadly gas is being released into a room or a car or something, and the protagonist is racing against time to thwart the villain because he'll eventually have to breathe in? Our potential vulnerability due to this weakness has even caused certain security companies to create carbon-monoxide monitors, which we then have to buy in order to be safe, wasting precious money that could be used on a myriad other things if we didn't need oxygen so badly.
That said, there are benefits to oxygen, and the benefits far outweigh any minor inconveniences. The thing that immediately comes to mind for me is fire, or, more specifically, burning things. Think back, for a moment, to science class: I assume that at some point your teacher did the experiment where you use a vacuum pump to suck the oxygen out of a glass jar with a candle inside? The candle goes out because there's no oxygen in the jar; in a sense, fire is as dependant on oxygen as we are.
When you think about it, a lot of what we do involves using fire to heat or burn things at some point or another. When I cook, for instance, I must light a fire. What would happen to the culinary industry if oxygen wasn't there to help start the fire? (Actually, I'd probably be eating a lot more sushi, which would be awesome and a good deal healthier than my current diet, but that's neither here nor there.) Another example is power. My laptop is currently connected by a power cord to a surge protector, which is connected to the wall, and, eventually, links up with whatever power plant supplies energy to my college's residence halls. I'm fairly certain that said power plant generates electricity by burning something, though I'm not sure specifically what.
In retrospect, I suppose oxygen is something like a double-edged sword. While our need for it can often be frustrating, it makes life a little more livable at the same time.
The Rundown
Convenience: 6/10. We can find oxygen in most places we need to go, but for extra exploration, special gear is needed. Also, oxygen makes things rust, which isn't convenient at all.
Necessity: 10/10. We need it to live. Can't get by without it.
Helpfulness: 10/10. Cooking food, combustion engines, and certain kinds of power plants wouldn't be possible without fire, which, in turn, wouldn't be possible without oxygen.
Ease of Absorption: 10/10. Like I said, it pretty much just happens.
Overall: 9/10. Yep. Oxygen's pretty sweet.
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Microsoft's Windows Vista Customer Service Website and Policy
I'll be the first to admit that this post is as much a personal vendetta as it is a review. I am frustrated about this topic, and I feel that this website is the most adequate way to both vent to and inform my readers about the dangers of buying a computer with Windows Vista installed on it-- or, more specifically, perhaps, the dangers of not carefully reading fine print.
First of all, let me clear something up. Aside from a few problems that probably wouldn't bother the average computer-user, I generally like Windows Vista. In particular, I think the redesigned user interface is both aesthetically pleasing and more efficient than that of Windows XP, or any prior Windows UI for that matter. (Dating back to Windows 95, that is; that was the first time I personally had used anything other than DOS.) As long as you plan on buying and using current, mass-marketed software, you'll be perfectly happy with Vista.
However, as you'll have noticed if you read the large, bold print above this review, it is not Windows Vista itself that I am crusading against. It is Microsoft's incredibly lacking and generally idiotic customer service policy concerning Vista.
The problems I've had that require customer service have generally dealt with compatibility. As I said earlier, this won't be a problem at all as long as the software you're using is fairly current (and, therefore, probably designed with Vista in mind). I, however, have several older programs that I rely on that haven't worked so well on Vista, and have, therefore, had to contact (or attempt to contact, but I'll get to that later) Microsoft's customer service department several times.
Before I continue, let me say that I consider myself a decent composer (of music, that is). However, I have fairly limited knowledge of musical theory, and I therefore rely on a certain program (Anvil Studio, which is an excellent little gem of a program that you can find easily enough by using a search engine) in order to write whatever songs may pop into my head. Before I owned the computer I am currently using, I ran Anvil Studio on Windows XP with great success. When I got my new computer, one of the first things I did was install Anvil.
Unfortunately, however, the program didn't run so well. I'd manage to keep it open for around twenty seconds or so before it would freeze and subsequently crash my computer. Frustrated, I went to the Vista customer service site and initiated a chatroom conversation with one of the representatives. While I do not have a record of what was said, I distinctly remember that it was immediately suggested that I downgrade to Windows XP if I wanted to run the program. No matter how many times I spoke to the person, I was repeatedly referred to another department where they could instruct me on how to remove Vista from my computer.
I, however, had just paid for Vista. I didn't want to remove it, I wanted it to work. Therefore, I instead contacted the support people over at the Anvil Studio website. They fixed my problem in a quick and expedient manner, and, while Anvil still doesn't run as well on Vista, it no longer crashes.
Unfortunately, I'm afraid that that was merely the first in a string of apparently unresolvable compatibility problems I've since encountered-- once again, all with rather dated software, mind you. It is, however, the most recent issue that has vexed me the most, and which was the catalyst that led to me writing what I write now.
I do not just write music for the sake of writing it. I also consider myself an amateur computer game designer, although I'm not nearly as skilled in that as I am in music composition. (Incidentally, it is worth noting here that all the songs I write are in midi format; that is, all the sound is generated from the computer's sound card.) I often use the songs I write in the games I create; I find it more convenient than having to obtain permission from someone else.
Ever since switching to Vista, I've noticed that my games have occasionally been plagued by severe slowdown that gradually fades away the more I play. Initially, I assumed that it was the software I used to create the games, but I eventually discovered a connection between the complexity of the midi I was using and the slowdown affecting the games. (In other words, the more complicated the song, the worse the game would perform.)
Figuring that the problem had to do with my computer's ability to play the songs rather than the game-making software, I decided to check and see whether or not other people were suffering from the same issue. It didn't take too much forum-scanning to realize that anyone who worked with midi music on Vista seemed to be having similar troubles; apparently, the technical lingo for it is 'clock drift', though I'm still not precisely sure what that means.
At any rate, with some additional searching, I managed to find the source of my woes. Apparently, "[t]his problem occurs because the Dmusic.sys file was removed in Windows Vista." (http://support.microsoft.com/kb/943253; italics mine.) The webpage goes on to say, essentially, that Dmusic.sys is basically integral to properly playing back midis, and that when it was removed, they didn't add a replacement. Why they removed said file is beyond me.
Fortunately, however, the support site also provided a hotfix. Unfortunately, when I installed said hotfix, it didn't actually do anything, near as I can tell. So I decided to go back to the support page, intent on sending an e-mail requesting an explanation-- after all, I could've somehow installed it wrong.
I never did find out whether or not it was my fault.
Why, you might ask?
As it turns out, I only recieve "no-charge support" for the first ninety days after I've bought my computer. After that, any phone call, e-mail, or chat with a customer service rep I have costs me.
How much, you might also ask?
$59.00, "plus total applicable taxes per support request." (http://support.microsoft.com/oas/default.aspx?ln=en-us&prid=10295&gprid=436647.)
Maybe you didn't quite let that sink in; I'll say it again:
It costs me $59 to ask Microsoft a question.
A question.
I found that to be a little absurd, personally.
So absurd, in fact, that I spent the next few hours researching different possible versions of Linux to install on this computer instead of Vista, just to see whether or not their support website was any better than Microsoft's.
Once again, let me reiterate: I still generally like Windows Vista as an OS. I think it has a lot of potential. That said, I would not reccomend tht you buy it unless you absolutely have to until they work out all the bugs. If you do wind up having to buy it, make sure you report even the smallest complaints to customer service.
If you don't, it'll come back to haunt you.
The Rundown
Ease of Use: 1/10. It took far too long to find the hotfix I'd been looking for. In fact, it took far too long to find just about everything I've ever looked for on Microsoft's support website.
Confidence: 0/10. If the support reps aren't confident enough to reccomend sticking with their own product, why should I?
Cost: 0/10. Simple support via e-mail should be free. I doubt Bill Gates is hard-up for money.
Effectiveness: 0/10. The one thing they sent me to fix my problem didn't even work.
Overall: .25/10. Congratulations! This support service has just become my lowest-scoring review so far!
First of all, let me clear something up. Aside from a few problems that probably wouldn't bother the average computer-user, I generally like Windows Vista. In particular, I think the redesigned user interface is both aesthetically pleasing and more efficient than that of Windows XP, or any prior Windows UI for that matter. (Dating back to Windows 95, that is; that was the first time I personally had used anything other than DOS.) As long as you plan on buying and using current, mass-marketed software, you'll be perfectly happy with Vista.
However, as you'll have noticed if you read the large, bold print above this review, it is not Windows Vista itself that I am crusading against. It is Microsoft's incredibly lacking and generally idiotic customer service policy concerning Vista.
The problems I've had that require customer service have generally dealt with compatibility. As I said earlier, this won't be a problem at all as long as the software you're using is fairly current (and, therefore, probably designed with Vista in mind). I, however, have several older programs that I rely on that haven't worked so well on Vista, and have, therefore, had to contact (or attempt to contact, but I'll get to that later) Microsoft's customer service department several times.
Before I continue, let me say that I consider myself a decent composer (of music, that is). However, I have fairly limited knowledge of musical theory, and I therefore rely on a certain program (Anvil Studio, which is an excellent little gem of a program that you can find easily enough by using a search engine) in order to write whatever songs may pop into my head. Before I owned the computer I am currently using, I ran Anvil Studio on Windows XP with great success. When I got my new computer, one of the first things I did was install Anvil.
Unfortunately, however, the program didn't run so well. I'd manage to keep it open for around twenty seconds or so before it would freeze and subsequently crash my computer. Frustrated, I went to the Vista customer service site and initiated a chatroom conversation with one of the representatives. While I do not have a record of what was said, I distinctly remember that it was immediately suggested that I downgrade to Windows XP if I wanted to run the program. No matter how many times I spoke to the person, I was repeatedly referred to another department where they could instruct me on how to remove Vista from my computer.
I, however, had just paid for Vista. I didn't want to remove it, I wanted it to work. Therefore, I instead contacted the support people over at the Anvil Studio website. They fixed my problem in a quick and expedient manner, and, while Anvil still doesn't run as well on Vista, it no longer crashes.
Unfortunately, I'm afraid that that was merely the first in a string of apparently unresolvable compatibility problems I've since encountered-- once again, all with rather dated software, mind you. It is, however, the most recent issue that has vexed me the most, and which was the catalyst that led to me writing what I write now.
I do not just write music for the sake of writing it. I also consider myself an amateur computer game designer, although I'm not nearly as skilled in that as I am in music composition. (Incidentally, it is worth noting here that all the songs I write are in midi format; that is, all the sound is generated from the computer's sound card.) I often use the songs I write in the games I create; I find it more convenient than having to obtain permission from someone else.
Ever since switching to Vista, I've noticed that my games have occasionally been plagued by severe slowdown that gradually fades away the more I play. Initially, I assumed that it was the software I used to create the games, but I eventually discovered a connection between the complexity of the midi I was using and the slowdown affecting the games. (In other words, the more complicated the song, the worse the game would perform.)
Figuring that the problem had to do with my computer's ability to play the songs rather than the game-making software, I decided to check and see whether or not other people were suffering from the same issue. It didn't take too much forum-scanning to realize that anyone who worked with midi music on Vista seemed to be having similar troubles; apparently, the technical lingo for it is 'clock drift', though I'm still not precisely sure what that means.
At any rate, with some additional searching, I managed to find the source of my woes. Apparently, "[t]his problem occurs because the Dmusic.sys file was removed in Windows Vista." (http://support.microsoft.com/kb/943253; italics mine.) The webpage goes on to say, essentially, that Dmusic.sys is basically integral to properly playing back midis, and that when it was removed, they didn't add a replacement. Why they removed said file is beyond me.
Fortunately, however, the support site also provided a hotfix. Unfortunately, when I installed said hotfix, it didn't actually do anything, near as I can tell. So I decided to go back to the support page, intent on sending an e-mail requesting an explanation-- after all, I could've somehow installed it wrong.
I never did find out whether or not it was my fault.
Why, you might ask?
As it turns out, I only recieve "no-charge support" for the first ninety days after I've bought my computer. After that, any phone call, e-mail, or chat with a customer service rep I have costs me.
How much, you might also ask?
$59.00, "plus total applicable taxes per support request." (http://support.microsoft.com/oas/default.aspx?ln=en-us&prid=10295&gprid=436647.)
Maybe you didn't quite let that sink in; I'll say it again:
It costs me $59 to ask Microsoft a question.
A question.
I found that to be a little absurd, personally.
So absurd, in fact, that I spent the next few hours researching different possible versions of Linux to install on this computer instead of Vista, just to see whether or not their support website was any better than Microsoft's.
Once again, let me reiterate: I still generally like Windows Vista as an OS. I think it has a lot of potential. That said, I would not reccomend tht you buy it unless you absolutely have to until they work out all the bugs. If you do wind up having to buy it, make sure you report even the smallest complaints to customer service.
If you don't, it'll come back to haunt you.
The Rundown
Ease of Use: 1/10. It took far too long to find the hotfix I'd been looking for. In fact, it took far too long to find just about everything I've ever looked for on Microsoft's support website.
Confidence: 0/10. If the support reps aren't confident enough to reccomend sticking with their own product, why should I?
Cost: 0/10. Simple support via e-mail should be free. I doubt Bill Gates is hard-up for money.
Effectiveness: 0/10. The one thing they sent me to fix my problem didn't even work.
Overall: .25/10. Congratulations! This support service has just become my lowest-scoring review so far!
Sunday, February 24, 2008
The Degeneration of the English Language Through Online Mediums of Communication and Social Networking (AIM, Facebook, MySpace, Et Cetera)
This is my first-ever Review Request. My thanks to Cathleen and Jack Francis!
dere is a prblm w/da english lang 2day
the prblm iz dat ppl r lazee
kk so ill b the 1st 2 admit taht txt msging cn tak3 a long tiem
but srsly, wtf dudes? omg i shuld at l3st be abel 2 undrstnd u
& wut iz all dis cr4p abut intarwebz slang shiwing up naka acca skool pap3rz?
itz absurd lol
brb sandwch tiem
kk back
at ne rate, dis stuf haz to st0p
iz anoying n it makes u look stoopid rofl
it takes moar efort 4 me 2 type liek dis den it does 4 me 2 type normal
So, seriously, start attending English class. And maybe read a few books. It'll be worth your time.
The Rundown
Clarity: 0/10. liek i cant uindrstnd u
Convenience: 2/10. fstr 4 a cell phn but not 4 comp
Professionalism: 0/10. sendin a letr writn liek dis 2 ur boss or ur teachr is not a gud idea
Appeal: 0/10. as sun as i see dis t3h convrs4tin haz no meening
Overall: 0.5/10. liek omg
dere is a prblm w/da english lang 2day
the prblm iz dat ppl r lazee
kk so ill b the 1st 2 admit taht txt msging cn tak3 a long tiem
but srsly, wtf dudes? omg i shuld at l3st be abel 2 undrstnd u
& wut iz all dis cr4p abut intarwebz slang shiwing up n
itz absurd lol
brb sandwch tiem
kk back
at ne rate, dis stuf haz to st0p
iz anoying n it makes u look stoopid rofl
it takes moar efort 4 me 2 type liek dis den it does 4 me 2 type normal
So, seriously, start attending English class. And maybe read a few books. It'll be worth your time.
The Rundown
Clarity: 0/10. liek i cant uindrstnd u
Convenience: 2/10. fstr 4 a cell phn but not 4 comp
Professionalism: 0/10. sendin a letr writn liek dis 2 ur boss or ur teachr is not a gud idea
Appeal: 0/10. as sun as i see dis t3h convrs4tin haz no meening
Overall: 0.5/10. liek omg
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Being Sick
I currently have a rather bad cold. The achy, sneezy, sore-throat-y, stuffy kind. As a consequence, I have essentially been lying in bed, doing absolutely nothing all day. Only just now did I think to comment on my illness and why it isn't any fun at all; perhaps it'll help me get it out of my system.
Being sick is something of a double-edged sword: there are benefits, but there are also major consequences, and I'm afraid that the latter edge is much longer, sharper, and more deadly than the former. Getting sick, for instances, gives you an excuse to not go to class (or work, in some of my readers' cases); however, all the work you missed out on will be waiting for you when you get back. While it is nice to have a temporary vacation, I have now missed three classes thanks to this illness. One of them is three hours long and meets only once a week, so I'll be scrambling to obtain the notes from my fellow classmates before next time. Another is science-- one of my weaknesses, as it were. Not having the biology of humans explained to me by my biology of humans professor will be a severe handicap during the next quiz. Besides, is it really a vacation when you spend it sneezing, blowing your nose, sleeping fitfully, and wishing that you were at your classes?
Another benefit is that you're not really expected to do anything when you're sick; in fact, you can often get people to do things for you. Side-effects, however, include feeling useless, frustrating your friends and relatives, and not really having a choice in the matter anyway-- in my instance, I really can't do anything, so being able to potentially have my roommate fetch me a sandwich (no matter how satisfying that would be under normal circumstances) doesn't have quite the same appeal.
When you're sick, it's often a good idea to repeatedly rehydrate yourself. In my case, this means being able to drink all the water, sports drinks, and soda that I like. The downside to this is that... well... I'm tired of drinking. I'm on something like my fifteenth glass of water, and I've never found taking another sip to be a more unappealing option than I do now. Especially since I have to run to the bathroom after every few drinks, which means exerting more effort than I'd care to, which means getting more tired, which means drinking more...
So, yeah. All in all, being sick just isn't fun. The bad far outweighs the good in most circumstances, and for every potential benefit, there's always a consequence waiting around the corner.
The Rundown
Convenience: 1/10. Unless you need an excuse to avoid a funeral or something, getting sick is definitely an inconvenience.
Fun Factor: 1/10. The fun of being able to lay around in bed and do nothing fades very quickly.
Appeal: 0/10. The idea of coughing, sneezing, constantly blowing my nose, aching all over, and not being able to stand up straight is not an appealing one under any circumstances.
Usefulness: 0/10. In my current state, I am not capable of doing much.
Overall: 0.5/10. Wash your hands. Take your vitamins. Eat your veggies. Do whatever it takes to avoid getting sick like I am.
Update: Since yesterday, I have missed four classes thanks to my cold, which is better today but not completely gone.
Being sick is something of a double-edged sword: there are benefits, but there are also major consequences, and I'm afraid that the latter edge is much longer, sharper, and more deadly than the former. Getting sick, for instances, gives you an excuse to not go to class (or work, in some of my readers' cases); however, all the work you missed out on will be waiting for you when you get back. While it is nice to have a temporary vacation, I have now missed three classes thanks to this illness. One of them is three hours long and meets only once a week, so I'll be scrambling to obtain the notes from my fellow classmates before next time. Another is science-- one of my weaknesses, as it were. Not having the biology of humans explained to me by my biology of humans professor will be a severe handicap during the next quiz. Besides, is it really a vacation when you spend it sneezing, blowing your nose, sleeping fitfully, and wishing that you were at your classes?
Another benefit is that you're not really expected to do anything when you're sick; in fact, you can often get people to do things for you. Side-effects, however, include feeling useless, frustrating your friends and relatives, and not really having a choice in the matter anyway-- in my instance, I really can't do anything, so being able to potentially have my roommate fetch me a sandwich (no matter how satisfying that would be under normal circumstances) doesn't have quite the same appeal.
When you're sick, it's often a good idea to repeatedly rehydrate yourself. In my case, this means being able to drink all the water, sports drinks, and soda that I like. The downside to this is that... well... I'm tired of drinking. I'm on something like my fifteenth glass of water, and I've never found taking another sip to be a more unappealing option than I do now. Especially since I have to run to the bathroom after every few drinks, which means exerting more effort than I'd care to, which means getting more tired, which means drinking more...
So, yeah. All in all, being sick just isn't fun. The bad far outweighs the good in most circumstances, and for every potential benefit, there's always a consequence waiting around the corner.
The Rundown
Convenience: 1/10. Unless you need an excuse to avoid a funeral or something, getting sick is definitely an inconvenience.
Fun Factor: 1/10. The fun of being able to lay around in bed and do nothing fades very quickly.
Appeal: 0/10. The idea of coughing, sneezing, constantly blowing my nose, aching all over, and not being able to stand up straight is not an appealing one under any circumstances.
Usefulness: 0/10. In my current state, I am not capable of doing much.
Overall: 0.5/10. Wash your hands. Take your vitamins. Eat your veggies. Do whatever it takes to avoid getting sick like I am.
Update: Since yesterday, I have missed four classes thanks to my cold, which is better today but not completely gone.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
MTV's Current Programming Block
So, apparently, MTV used to rock. They took their name-- Music Television-- seriously, in that the channel was entirely devoted to music, 24/7. No The Hills, no A Shot at Love, and (this is the best part) no Life of Ryan.
Now, however, those are just three of the multiple idiotic reality TV shows that seem to encompass the entirety of MTV's programming. I'm not sure what happened between MTV's inception and its present form, but it definitely does not rock any more.
As I've said before, I live with a mostly-tolerable roommate. However, one irksome thing about living with him is that the TV is constantly on, and usually tuned into MTV. As such, I have been subjected to more of that channel's shows than I'd ever wanted to be-- which was not much. While I could review the channel as a whole, I think it might be easier to do it show by show, with the ones that I've seen the most.
The Hills
I still am not even sure what this show is actually about. I think the premise is that we watch Lauren, the show's 'protagonist,' attempt to rise up in her job at Teen Vogue magazine whilst dealing with the difficulties of keeping several backstabbing faux-friends. The show mostly focuses on the latter, however, so that all we get is a confusing mix'n'match of arguments, break-ups and make-ups.
As if the show's very subject matter wasn't bad enough, it is apparently scripted (http://www.signonsandiego.com/uniontrib/20060530/news_lz1c30hills.html), which makes me wonder why anyone cares at all, as I'm sure the show's viewing demographic mostly consists of reality TV fans. This essentially downgrades (or does it upgrade?) the show to soap-opera status, save with worse actors and even lower production values.
In short: watching this show will melt your brain.
Life of Ryan
Someone: Ryan, you should/need to do X.
The above is an accurate summary of every episode of Life of Ryan that has ever aired. The only redeeming quality I can see as far as this show is concerned is that the 'star,' pro skateboarder Ryan Sheckler, is incredibly easy to make fun of. Despite being just a little younger than I am, he has the maturity of a seven-year-old, literally crying when he doesn't get his way. I might have pity for him if he wasn't, at times, remarkably insensitive, and generally a jerk.
Unfortunately, he does seem to be a genuinely good skateboarder, so I can't fault him there. That said, if I owned a skate park, I wouldn't let him in.
He'd probably cry about it.
Rob and Big
All right, I'll give in. I actually like this show a lot. It follows the life and antics of another immature skateboarder (Rob Dyrdek) and his equally immature best friend/bodyguard (Christopher "Big Black" Boykin). The difference between this show and Life of Ryan is that Rob and Big are happy. Rob is apparently quite wealthy but obviously has no idea what to do with his money, so he and Big do... well, they do whatever they want.
Every show is an adventure: quests undertaken so far by the dynamic duo include entering their mini-horse (apparently an impulse buy) into a mini-horse contest, breaking multiple Guinness World Records in both the skateboarding and speed-eating categories, and filming/producing an entire rap video using the alias "Bobby Light." (Here's the video: http://youtube.com/watch?v=VucGM7S_Ztw.)
However, while I do like the show, Rob and Big is still not music. If they changed their name to Reality Television, I wouldn't care-- it's the fact that they continue to masquerade as something they aren't that bothers me.
So here's a message to MTV, from me: change your name, or change your programming. If you aren't going to be entertaining, then at least be honest.
The Rundown
Variety: 2/10. On some level, the shows on MTV are essentially all the same idea with different people.
Entertainment Value: 5/10. Rob and Big is hilarious. Everything else is quite boring.
Intelligence: 0/10. Like, oooooohhh my Gawd. I, like, have no brains?
Honesty: 3/10. Gets points for TRL, but American Idol is as much reality as it is music.
Overall: 2.5/10. Generally abysmal. Don't watch it-- maybe it'll send a message to the execs.
Now, however, those are just three of the multiple idiotic reality TV shows that seem to encompass the entirety of MTV's programming. I'm not sure what happened between MTV's inception and its present form, but it definitely does not rock any more.
As I've said before, I live with a mostly-tolerable roommate. However, one irksome thing about living with him is that the TV is constantly on, and usually tuned into MTV. As such, I have been subjected to more of that channel's shows than I'd ever wanted to be-- which was not much. While I could review the channel as a whole, I think it might be easier to do it show by show, with the ones that I've seen the most.
The Hills
I still am not even sure what this show is actually about. I think the premise is that we watch Lauren, the show's 'protagonist,' attempt to rise up in her job at Teen Vogue magazine whilst dealing with the difficulties of keeping several backstabbing faux-friends. The show mostly focuses on the latter, however, so that all we get is a confusing mix'n'match of arguments, break-ups and make-ups.
As if the show's very subject matter wasn't bad enough, it is apparently scripted (http://www.signonsandiego.com/uniontrib/20060530/news_lz1c30hills.html), which makes me wonder why anyone cares at all, as I'm sure the show's viewing demographic mostly consists of reality TV fans. This essentially downgrades (or does it upgrade?) the show to soap-opera status, save with worse actors and even lower production values.
In short: watching this show will melt your brain.
Life of Ryan
Someone: Ryan, you should/need to do X.
Ryan: But I don't want to do X! Whine whine whine people don't appreciate how much work I do whine whine whine...
The above is an accurate summary of every episode of Life of Ryan that has ever aired. The only redeeming quality I can see as far as this show is concerned is that the 'star,' pro skateboarder Ryan Sheckler, is incredibly easy to make fun of. Despite being just a little younger than I am, he has the maturity of a seven-year-old, literally crying when he doesn't get his way. I might have pity for him if he wasn't, at times, remarkably insensitive, and generally a jerk.
Unfortunately, he does seem to be a genuinely good skateboarder, so I can't fault him there. That said, if I owned a skate park, I wouldn't let him in.
He'd probably cry about it.
Rob and Big
All right, I'll give in. I actually like this show a lot. It follows the life and antics of another immature skateboarder (Rob Dyrdek) and his equally immature best friend/bodyguard (Christopher "Big Black" Boykin). The difference between this show and Life of Ryan is that Rob and Big are happy. Rob is apparently quite wealthy but obviously has no idea what to do with his money, so he and Big do... well, they do whatever they want.
Every show is an adventure: quests undertaken so far by the dynamic duo include entering their mini-horse (apparently an impulse buy) into a mini-horse contest, breaking multiple Guinness World Records in both the skateboarding and speed-eating categories, and filming/producing an entire rap video using the alias "Bobby Light." (Here's the video: http://youtube.com/watch?v=VucGM7S_Ztw.)
However, while I do like the show, Rob and Big is still not music. If they changed their name to Reality Television, I wouldn't care-- it's the fact that they continue to masquerade as something they aren't that bothers me.
So here's a message to MTV, from me: change your name, or change your programming. If you aren't going to be entertaining, then at least be honest.
The Rundown
Variety: 2/10. On some level, the shows on MTV are essentially all the same idea with different people.
Entertainment Value: 5/10. Rob and Big is hilarious. Everything else is quite boring.
Intelligence: 0/10. Like, oooooohhh my Gawd. I, like, have no brains?
Honesty: 3/10. Gets points for TRL, but American Idol is as much reality as it is music.
Overall: 2.5/10. Generally abysmal. Don't watch it-- maybe it'll send a message to the execs.
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Review Request Service
Because my style of exactly what I review and when I review it could be viewed as an inconvenience to some, I've decided to open up a new e-mail account where you can request something you'd like me to review. Your request can literally be anything, but I'll review what is most feasable for me at the time both monetarily and in terms of location. (I live in Florida; asking me to review a comic book store in Nebraska wouldn't be a good idea.)
So, if you're unsure about something, or simply wish to know my opinion, and would like me to post a review, send a request to thebigniceguy@live.com. Make the subject "Review Request" so I know it isn't spam. I'll either credit you as the suggester with your e-mail address, or by your name or nickname if you supply it in the e-mail. Who knows-- maybe you'll get lucky, and your name will appear on my blog!
The Rundown
Ease of Use: 10/10. Seriously; just send me an e-mail.
Fun Factor: 10/10. Just think-- your request could be immortalized on the internet.
Awesomeness: 10/10. You can't tell me this isn't awesome.
Overall: 10/10. Do it!
So, if you're unsure about something, or simply wish to know my opinion, and would like me to post a review, send a request to thebigniceguy@live.com. Make the subject "Review Request" so I know it isn't spam. I'll either credit you as the suggester with your e-mail address, or by your name or nickname if you supply it in the e-mail. Who knows-- maybe you'll get lucky, and your name will appear on my blog!
The Rundown
Ease of Use: 10/10. Seriously; just send me an e-mail.
Fun Factor: 10/10. Just think-- your request could be immortalized on the internet.
Awesomeness: 10/10. You can't tell me this isn't awesome.
Overall: 10/10. Do it!
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