Now, however, those are just three of the multiple idiotic reality TV shows that seem to encompass the entirety of MTV's programming. I'm not sure what happened between MTV's inception and its present form, but it definitely does not rock any more.
As I've said before, I live with a mostly-tolerable roommate. However, one irksome thing about living with him is that the TV is constantly on, and usually tuned into MTV. As such, I have been subjected to more of that channel's shows than I'd ever wanted to be-- which was not much. While I could review the channel as a whole, I think it might be easier to do it show by show, with the ones that I've seen the most.
The Hills
I still am not even sure what this show is actually about. I think the premise is that we watch Lauren, the show's 'protagonist,' attempt to rise up in her job at Teen Vogue magazine whilst dealing with the difficulties of keeping several backstabbing faux-friends. The show mostly focuses on the latter, however, so that all we get is a confusing mix'n'match of arguments, break-ups and make-ups.
As if the show's very subject matter wasn't bad enough, it is apparently scripted (http://www.signonsandiego.com/uniontrib/20060530/news_lz1c30hills.html), which makes me wonder why anyone cares at all, as I'm sure the show's viewing demographic mostly consists of reality TV fans. This essentially downgrades (or does it upgrade?) the show to soap-opera status, save with worse actors and even lower production values.
In short: watching this show will melt your brain.
Life of Ryan
Someone: Ryan, you should/need to do X.
Ryan: But I don't want to do X! Whine whine whine people don't appreciate how much work I do whine whine whine...
The above is an accurate summary of every episode of Life of Ryan that has ever aired. The only redeeming quality I can see as far as this show is concerned is that the 'star,' pro skateboarder Ryan Sheckler, is incredibly easy to make fun of. Despite being just a little younger than I am, he has the maturity of a seven-year-old, literally crying when he doesn't get his way. I might have pity for him if he wasn't, at times, remarkably insensitive, and generally a jerk.
Unfortunately, he does seem to be a genuinely good skateboarder, so I can't fault him there. That said, if I owned a skate park, I wouldn't let him in.
He'd probably cry about it.
Rob and Big
All right, I'll give in. I actually like this show a lot. It follows the life and antics of another immature skateboarder (Rob Dyrdek) and his equally immature best friend/bodyguard (Christopher "Big Black" Boykin). The difference between this show and Life of Ryan is that Rob and Big are happy. Rob is apparently quite wealthy but obviously has no idea what to do with his money, so he and Big do... well, they do whatever they want.
Every show is an adventure: quests undertaken so far by the dynamic duo include entering their mini-horse (apparently an impulse buy) into a mini-horse contest, breaking multiple Guinness World Records in both the skateboarding and speed-eating categories, and filming/producing an entire rap video using the alias "Bobby Light." (Here's the video: http://youtube.com/watch?v=VucGM7S_Ztw.)
However, while I do like the show, Rob and Big is still not music. If they changed their name to Reality Television, I wouldn't care-- it's the fact that they continue to masquerade as something they aren't that bothers me.
So here's a message to MTV, from me: change your name, or change your programming. If you aren't going to be entertaining, then at least be honest.
The Rundown
Variety: 2/10. On some level, the shows on MTV are essentially all the same idea with different people.
Entertainment Value: 5/10. Rob and Big is hilarious. Everything else is quite boring.
Intelligence: 0/10. Like, oooooohhh my Gawd. I, like, have no brains?
Honesty: 3/10. Gets points for TRL, but American Idol is as much reality as it is music.
Overall: 2.5/10. Generally abysmal. Don't watch it-- maybe it'll send a message to the execs.
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