The Degeneration of the English Language Through Online Mediums of Communication and Social Networking (AIM, Facebook, MySpace, Et Cetera)

This is my first-ever Review Request. My thanks to Cathleen and Jack Francis!

dere is a prblm w/da english lang 2day

the prblm iz dat ppl r lazee

kk so ill b the 1st 2 admit taht txt msging cn tak3 a long tiem

but srsly, wtf dudes? omg i shuld at l3st be abel 2 undrstnd u

& wut iz all dis cr4p abut intarwebz slang shiwing up n aka acca skool pap3rz?

itz absurd lol

brb sandwch tiem

kk back

at ne rate, dis stuf haz to st0p

iz anoying n it makes u look stoopid rofl

it takes moar efort 4 me 2 type liek dis den it does 4 me 2 type normal

So, seriously, start attending English class. And maybe read a few books. It'll be worth your time.

The Rundown
Clarity: 0/10. liek i cant uindrstnd u
Convenience: 2/10. fstr 4 a cell phn but not 4 comp
Professionalism: 0/10. sendin a letr writn liek dis 2 ur boss or ur teachr is not a gud idea
Appeal: 0/10. as sun as i see dis t3h convrs4tin haz no meening
Overall: 0.5/10. liek omg

Being Sick

I currently have a rather bad cold. The achy, sneezy, sore-throat-y, stuffy kind. As a consequence, I have essentially been lying in bed, doing absolutely nothing all day. Only just now did I think to comment on my illness and why it isn't any fun at all; perhaps it'll help me get it out of my system.

Being sick is something of a double-edged sword: there are benefits, but there are also major consequences, and I'm afraid that the latter edge is much longer, sharper, and more deadly than the former. Getting sick, for instances, gives you an excuse to not go to class (or work, in some of my readers' cases); however, all the work you missed out on will be waiting for you when you get back. While it is nice to have a temporary vacation, I have now missed three classes thanks to this illness. One of them is three hours long and meets only once a week, so I'll be scrambling to obtain the notes from my fellow classmates before next time. Another is science-- one of my weaknesses, as it were. Not having the biology of humans explained to me by my biology of humans professor will be a severe handicap during the next quiz. Besides, is it really a vacation when you spend it sneezing, blowing your nose, sleeping fitfully, and wishing that you were at your classes?

Another benefit is that you're not really expected to do anything when you're sick; in fact, you can often get people to do things for you. Side-effects, however, include feeling useless, frustrating your friends and relatives, and not really having a choice in the matter anyway-- in my instance, I really can't do anything, so being able to potentially have my roommate fetch me a sandwich (no matter how satisfying that would be under normal circumstances) doesn't have quite the same appeal.

When you're sick, it's often a good idea to repeatedly rehydrate yourself. In my case, this means being able to drink all the water, sports drinks, and soda that I like. The downside to this is that... well... I'm tired of drinking. I'm on something like my fifteenth glass of water, and I've never found taking another sip to be a more unappealing option than I do now. Especially since I have to run to the bathroom after every few drinks, which means exerting more effort than I'd care to, which means getting more tired, which means drinking more...

So, yeah. All in all, being sick just isn't fun. The bad far outweighs the good in most circumstances, and for every potential benefit, there's always a consequence waiting around the corner.

The Rundown
Convenience: 1/10. Unless you need an excuse to avoid a funeral or something, getting sick is definitely an inconvenience.
Fun Factor: 1/10. The fun of being able to lay around in bed and do nothing fades very quickly.
Appeal: 0/10. The idea of coughing, sneezing, constantly blowing my nose, aching all over, and not being able to stand up straight is not an appealing one under any circumstances.
Usefulness: 0/10. In my current state, I am not capable of doing much.
Overall: 0.5/10. Wash your hands. Take your vitamins. Eat your veggies. Do whatever it takes to avoid getting sick like I am.

Update: Since yesterday, I have missed four classes thanks to my cold, which is better today but not completely gone.

MTV's Current Programming Block

So, apparently, MTV used to rock. They took their name-- Music Television-- seriously, in that the channel was entirely devoted to music, 24/7. No The Hills, no A Shot at Love, and (this is the best part) no Life of Ryan.

Now, however, those are just three of the multiple idiotic reality TV shows that seem to encompass the entirety of MTV's programming. I'm not sure what happened between MTV's inception and its present form, but it definitely does not rock any more.

As I've said before, I live with a mostly-tolerable roommate. However, one irksome thing about living with him is that the TV is constantly on, and usually tuned into MTV. As such, I have been subjected to more of that channel's shows than I'd ever wanted to be-- which was not much. While I could review the channel as a whole, I think it might be easier to do it show by show, with the ones that I've seen the most.

The Hills
I still am not even sure what this show is actually about. I think the premise is that we watch Lauren, the show's 'protagonist,' attempt to rise up in her job at Teen Vogue magazine whilst dealing with the difficulties of keeping several backstabbing faux-friends. The show mostly focuses on the latter, however, so that all we get is a confusing mix'n'match of arguments, break-ups and make-ups.

As if the show's very subject matter wasn't bad enough, it is apparently scripted (http://www.signonsandiego.com/uniontrib/20060530/news_lz1c30hills.html), which makes me wonder why anyone cares at all, as I'm sure the show's viewing demographic mostly consists of reality TV fans. This essentially downgrades (or does it upgrade?) the show to soap-opera status, save with worse actors and even lower production values.

In short: watching this show will melt your brain.

Life of Ryan
Someone: Ryan, you should/need to do X.

Ryan: But I don't want to do X! Whine whine whine people don't appreciate how much work I do whine whine whine...

The above is an accurate summary of every episode of Life of Ryan that has ever aired. The only redeeming quality I can see as far as this show is concerned is that the 'star,' pro skateboarder Ryan Sheckler, is incredibly easy to make fun of. Despite being just a little younger than I am, he has the maturity of a seven-year-old, literally crying when he doesn't get his way. I might have pity for him if he wasn't, at times, remarkably insensitive, and generally a jerk.

Unfortunately, he does seem to be a genuinely good skateboarder, so I can't fault him there. That said, if I owned a skate park, I wouldn't let him in.

He'd probably cry about it.

Rob and Big
All right, I'll give in. I actually like this show a lot. It follows the life and antics of another immature skateboarder (Rob Dyrdek) and his equally immature best friend/bodyguard (Christopher "Big Black" Boykin). The difference between this show and Life of Ryan is that Rob and Big are happy. Rob is apparently quite wealthy but obviously has no idea what to do with his money, so he and Big do... well, they do whatever they want.

Every show is an adventure: quests undertaken so far by the dynamic duo include entering their mini-horse (apparently an impulse buy) into a mini-horse contest, breaking multiple Guinness World Records in both the skateboarding and speed-eating categories, and filming/producing an entire rap video using the alias "Bobby Light." (Here's the video: http://youtube.com/watch?v=VucGM7S_Ztw.)

However, while I do like the show, Rob and Big is still not music. If they changed their name to Reality Television, I wouldn't care-- it's the fact that they continue to masquerade as something they aren't that bothers me.

So here's a message to MTV, from me: change your name, or change your programming. If you aren't going to be entertaining, then at least be honest.

The Rundown
Variety: 2/10. On some level, the shows on MTV are essentially all the same idea with different people.
Entertainment Value: 5/10. Rob and Big is hilarious. Everything else is quite boring.
Intelligence: 0/10. Like, oooooohhh my Gawd. I, like, have no brains?
Honesty: 3/10. Gets points for TRL, but American Idol is as much reality as it is music.
Overall: 2.5/10. Generally abysmal. Don't watch it-- maybe it'll send a message to the execs.

Review Request Service

Because my style of exactly what I review and when I review it could be viewed as an inconvenience to some, I've decided to open up a new e-mail account where you can request something you'd like me to review. Your request can literally be anything, but I'll review what is most feasable for me at the time both monetarily and in terms of location. (I live in Florida; asking me to review a comic book store in Nebraska wouldn't be a good idea.)

So, if you're unsure about something, or simply wish to know my opinion, and would like me to post a review, send a request to thebigniceguy@live.com. Make the subject "Review Request" so I know it isn't spam. I'll either credit you as the suggester with your e-mail address, or by your name or nickname if you supply it in the e-mail. Who knows-- maybe you'll get lucky, and your name will appear on my blog!

The Rundown
Ease of Use: 10/10. Seriously; just send me an e-mail.
Fun Factor: 10/10. Just think-- your request could be immortalized on the internet.
Awesomeness: 10/10. You can't tell me this isn't awesome.
Overall: 10/10. Do it!

Living With Seven Other Guys

This, as you may have figured out, is not a movie, video game, restaurant, play, musical, or anything of that ilk. It is simply a situation in which you should never find yourself. Avoid it at all costs.

My experience with housing at the university I currently attend has not been a very good one-- though I like the school itself well enough. Due to, admittedly, a late request for an apartment-style dorm on my part, I have been living in Kappa Hall with six suite-mates and one roommate since something like August or September of last year. I (obviously) share a room with my roommate, a common room with two of my suite-mates, and a bathroom (one shower, two stalls and two sinks) with everyone else.

None of these situations are particularly ideal. While I was fortunately assigned to a generally-bearable roommate, I still essentially have no privacy no matter where I go. My roommate, who shall remain nameless, is generally in the room whenever I am, surfing the 'net, talking (on the phone) to his girlfriend, watching TV, or studying-- sometimes a combination of all four; TV is usually in the mix somehow. What with eight people sharing a bathroom, there's bound to be someone in there at the same time as you, whether they're taking a shower, shaving, or in the other stall.

The walls are, somehow, either incredibly thin or porous: sound waves seem to ignore them entirely. One of my suite-mates likes gospel music, and another likes rap; they both live on either side of me, so I often get a kind of fusion of the two in my own room. I've taken to blasting heavy metal and techno on my headphones just to block out the constant mish-mash.

I find myself frequenting the dining halls, the library, the study hall-- anywhere I can go to get some alone time. Isn't it kind of strange that my idea of 'alone time' has become sitting by myself in an area with tons of other people in it? It's almost a perversion of the idea of privacy: I flee my home, instead of returning to it, in search of solitude.

Don't get me wrong-- I'm not knocking the idea of living on-campus entirely. Just try and get a room to yourself. It'll be so worth it.

The Rundown
Privacy: 1/10. Sometimes, my roomate isn't here. Most of the time, though, I have no time to myself.
Fun: 5/10. Sometimes, I'm in the mood to play Halo, shoot hoops, pull pranks, and other things that accompany stuffing a lot of guys into one suite. Most of the time, however, I am not in the mood.
Convenience: 1/10. One shower? Oh, come on.
Overall: 2.5/10. Rent an apartment if you have to. Don't wind up in my situation.

Bushido

No, not Bushido Blade-- this isn't a video game review. It is, in fact, a review of a wonderful little Japanese restaurant in Venice, Florida that I sincerely hope manages to stay in business.

When I'd first heard that a Japanese place was being opened up on Venice Avenue, I practically jumped for joy; if nothing else, it would at least save me a twenty-minute drive up to Taste of Tokyo, another excellent, similarly-themed restaurant in Sarasota. At the time, I had no idea whether or not the place would actually be any good; I had simply just discovered my love for sushi and wanted to try more.

The decor of Bushido seems to clash violently with everything that I've come to know Venice to be; in this case, a good thing, as I've come to know Venice as a town that is thoroughly stuck in its ways, as unchanging as the faces of Mt. Rushmore. The vibrant-yet-not-gaudy colors and subtle, Asian twist to everything from the furniture to the various ornaments hanging from the ceiling (including an initially alarming pufferfish) seem to advertise, if not a good time, at least a very different one from Venice's typical offerings.

Service was brisk yet friendly and inviting; our waitress promptly seated us, brought out drinks, and took our orders: I had the California, avocado, and tuna rolls, a bowl of edamame, and a bowl of chicken fried rice. (I didn't eat all of it; we were a party of six.) The edamame came first: warm, soft, and lightly salted soybeans. I also had a sampling of my aunt's gyoza (a sort of pork dumpling, drizzled in lemon) which was just as excellent, though I knew that the sushi was being prepped by the sushi chef; as such, I remained somewhat guarded even as I munched on the edamame and sipped away at my soda, which was always refilled right when I ran out.

Then, the wait.

The only truly negative thing I have to report about my experience at Bushido is that the sushi took an awfully long time to get to our table. Granted, we had ordered an awful lot of it, but all the same-- it seemed ages (and many refilled Coca Cola glasses) until the main course was finally set down in front of us.

I have eaten a lot of food in my life-- a lot of very good food. I practically grew up in the restaurant my father managed when we lived in New York City, and I've been gradually expanding my dining experiences ever since.

That said, Bushido was the first sushi I've ever eaten that made me audibly moan and shiver with pleasure. All the ingredients seemed to be perfectly proportioned and rolled, so that they seemed to become one single, delicious slice of Heaven in my mouth. The avocado was especially delicious; even now, days later, the sheer thought of it makes my mouth water. The ginger that came with the sushi seemed almost shockingly fresh, and it seemed that, no matter what proportions of soy sauce to wasabi paste I used, I could do no wrong-- the sushi was far too perfect to possibly be driven to imperfection by such petty nuances.

Midway through the sushi, my chicken fried rice arrived-- somehow, a perfect compliment to the rest of the meal. Succulent, well-seasoned chicken resting on a soft pillow of fluffy fried rice, just waiting to be devoured. By the time I had finished everything, I was so full that the thought of even getting up to drive home was a painful one. But it was so worth it.

If you happen to be in Venice, go to Bushido. Order whatever you want-- chances are it'll be a wonderful experience, and certainly something you never expected to find there.

The Rundown
Decor: 10/10. Beautiful, and very distinct.
Service: 8/10. The waitress was fine, but the food didn't quite get out as quickly as I'd have liked.
Food: 10/10. Oh my God. Go. Now.
Overall: 9.5. The sushi... the suuuushi...

Silent Hill: Origins

For me, this game was a very spur-of-the-moment buy. I was in the mall with my brother and a friend, and we decided to stop by Gamestop. He bought the new Contra for the DS, and, deciding that I might as well get something too, I looked over at the PSP section, wanting to get a game and expand my miniscule PSP library. I searched about fruitlessly, and, just as I was turning around-- I saw it.

Silent Hill: Origins.

My experience with the Silent Hill series, has, until now, been a very brief one; not because the games are bad by any stretch of the imagination-- in fact, they're too good. I consider myself a survival/horror fan, but I've never gotten too into any of the SH games just because they're too creepy. After attempting to play SH3, I found myself avoiding mirrors, checking behind shower curtains, and hiding under the covers before I went to sleep. In real life, mind you. And from what I've heard, the third outing in the series was the weakest of the bunch.

Well, let me tell you-- in the thrills department, SH: O still doesn't dissapoint. In the right atmosphere (the game actually flashes a warning screen that reccomends playing in the dark, with headphones on), this game can score some serious jump-out-of-your-seat moments. SH: O utilizes an admittedly cliche'd mechanic of allowing you to travel into a strange, alternate universe via mirrors-- this creepier, "other world" is where the stronger monsters call home, and I actually found myself fruitlessly trying to solve puzzles in the normal world, knowing I had to change worlds in order to progress but dreading actually doing the deed.

Adding to the scare factor is the combat system-- ammo for guns is limited, and, as such, you'll often find yourself relying on the game's wealth of melee weapons: throughout your stay in Silent Hill, you'll find yourself bashing enemies with everything from wooden planks and meat hooks to toasters and televisions. Having to get in close to the monstrosities that roam both the 'light' and 'dark' worlds adds an incredible tension to the game, and causes you to often find yourself in Resident Evil 4-style, button mashing minigames in order to escape your adversaries' clutches.

I've always been impressed with the PSP's graphical capabilities, but SH: O puts the rest of the system's titles to shame. The normal world is clean, steryl, and covered in an enemy-obscuring mist, while the Other World is rusty, ruined, and almost pitch-black. Character models are suprisingly detailed, and enemies are as bloody, slimy, and gruesome as ever.

While the sounds and music of the game are appropriately eerie, the voice acting leaves something to be desired. I don't really feel any empathy for the game's trucker/protagonist, Travis, nor do I feel that any of the rest of the game's frightening posse are particularly believable. The voices also seem to be rather quieter than the rest of the game's sounds-- fortunately, an optional subtitle feature means that you won't miss a word anyway.

Another gripe is the controls: they're kinda lame, and you can't change them. I say "kinda lame" because they're more inconvenient than bad-- I always try to push triangle to open the menu, but the map opens instead. You hold down square to run, which just feels odd no matter how many times I've done it, and, rather than being able to fully adjust the camera, you can only push L to change it to whatever direction Travis is facing.

Ah, yes-- the camera. Easily my least favorite aspect of the game. Sometimes, it'll lock in place a la Resident Evil: Code Veronica, and others, it'll essentially do whatever it pleases. It seems that no matter how many times I try to adjust the camera, it always winds up in whatever the least convenient position is. This is especially true in small hallways and corridors, and there are a lot of those in Origins; generally, I'll find that the camera has somehow wound up against the ceiling, facing me, leaving me entirely helpless as posessed nurses and demonic who-knows-whats scratch, claw, and bite at me.

Negatives aside, though, Silent Hill: Origins is a mostly-excellent game, and will be especially appreciated by the survival/horror crowd. What it lacks in convenience and acting prowess it more than makes up for in thrills, chills, and more than a few sleep-with-the-lights-on nights.

The Rundown
Graphics: 10/10. Very impressive.
Audio: 8/10. Lost two points for generally abysmal voice acting.
Controls: 5/10. Not very convenient, and the camera is terrible.
Gameplay: 9/10. The mix of tense, close-quarters combat and puzzle-solving is quite addicting.
Overall: 8/10. Worth a buy if you like getting the pants scared off of you, and can tolerate a few technical hitches.

In the beginning...

Hey, there. I'm Sean Francis, alias Chief, alias The Big Nice Guy, alias The Human Brick Wall, et cetera, et cetera. A not-so-long time ago in a galaxy we're in right now, I wanted to be a theatre critic. I haven't exactly been chasing that dream lately, so I made this blog, where I will essentially be reviewing... everything.

Well, not 'everything' per se, but at least anything that I've recently bought/seen/listened to/experienced and feel like reviewing. I'll give scores out of 10, maybe adding subscores for different categories if I feel like being super-specific.

Sometimes, though, I just don't feel like reviewing things. Sometimes I'll feel like blogging about things that are more... philisophical in nature. When I'm feeling this way, I'll post over at Jon's blog: http://www.somebodysfetish.net.

At any rate, if you've only just stumbled upon this website, feel free to continue visiting as I steadily post more and more reviews... of everything, ever.